So…I have a birthday looming. It was my scary number when I was younger. Before you start in on me, I KNOW I’m not “old” and many people will tell me that they are much older than me and dealing with more and totally killing it. And I KNOW that. But for some reason when I was younger, I had this vision that 35 was scary. To be honest, at the time, I had no idea what 35 would look like, what it would feel like, what life would be like. As I rapidly approach the scary number, I realize it’s definitely not as scary as I thought.
Some days I swear up and down I’m still 20 and free and healthy and immature. And then other days I wake up and I can’t move my leg because I slept funny or pulled a muscle somewhere and didn’t even know it! Some mornings I stare in the mirror at the tired eyes, the silver hair, and my hands that look more and more like my mother’s every single day, and I cannot figure out where time has gone.
But truly, my 30’s have been the best part so far. My family is complete. No more pregnancy (thank god in heaven for that). I know who I am. No more questioning what I stand for, I pretty much know. I know what’s important to me and what I can let slide. My kids are getting bigger and a little more independent and as much as I miss baby snuggles, I LOVE watching them learn to make choices and have opinions. We have things we need to work on as a family, but I feel like at this point we know what those things are. There’s no elephant in the room. We understand how this adulting thing works, even if we don’t WANT to do it. I am not scared to call an insurance agency or a financial institution and figure it out for myself.
Although I try to age gracefully, in a crunchy hippie sort of way, I am feeling called to cover up the grey again. Throw some dye over it and leave it for another day, 6 weeks from now ;). I feel the push to try to lose weight and get healthy, so maybe I don’t wake up with the random aches and I have more energy. I suddenly understand so much more about my mother. I know why she spent her 30’s having a single chicken breast with lettuce all day. She was doing it because her body started to feel like it needed the right fuel, and not top ramen. So maybe 35 is my year! The year I embrace it and take things back under my control; make better choices.
I’m having a LuLaRoe Birthday Open House in the shop this Saturday the 7th with some 35 specials. Come by and celebrate with me. Tell me 35 isn’t super scary. Tell me I’ll be ok, ha. Tell me that the sense of self that came with my 30’s just gets better and better, because my fingers are crossed that the fun has just started.